From the mud and darkness, something good can happen.
Most of the time when bad things are happening, it's not easy to see the good that's around the corner. You have to try and breathe through the uncomfortable and have faith that things will turn around. Then there are times when you get fed up with the bad, so you decide to make a big change and push your way out of the darkness. My yoga teacher beginning sort of started like the latter.
Out of the Mud and Darkness
Then there are times when you get fed up with the way things are going, so you decide to make a big change and push your way out of the darkness.
I've read that the lotus flower is considered a symbol of purity because it's beauty contrasts the dark and and muddy waters from which it blooms. I think this can be symbolic of many things in life. Especially when we find ourselves growing and changing out of experiences that seem like our darkest; "Lotus Moments."
My Lotus Moment
A few years back, I was in a really dark place. I was very stressed as a new full-time working mom with two new cuties that I had 14 months apart. I spent most of my time bouncing from work to home and back again. At work, I was taking care of students; At home, I took care of babies and a husband. Most days I felt inadequate in everything I did. I'm certainly blessed to have some amazing kids and work in a field I love, but the problem with all of this is that I wasn't taking care of me. I went too long running on empty and finally the dominoes starting tipping over; No self-care led to poor eating, less exercise, anxiety attacks, depression, and then some health stuff. In 2017, I got really sick and found out that I had to have my gallbladder removed. Though it's not the most serious of health issues, it still scared the crap out of me and I knew it was time to start taking better care of myself both mentally and physically. During my first days of recovery from surgery, I remember waking up from a nap and telling my husband that I needed to learn more about yoga and go through a teacher training. I'm not sure if it was the combination of medications and my renewed curiosity for yoga or if I had some kind of divine intervention. Whatever the case, I spoke it into existence. Everything fell into place after that; I found training that started a month later, we had the funds to pay for it, and the schedule worked perfectly with our demanding schedule. It was meant to be!
Sharing is Caring
Teacher training taught me a lot about yoga and a whole lot about myself. I initially went through training to learn more for myself and how to develop the skills to lead a healthier life. Within a few months, I noticed a huge difference in my anxiety. And while I'm not always perfect, I feel more connected to my emotions and can often redirect anxiety when things seem to build up. The best part is that I stopped all my medication for anxiety and started sleeping better. After I realized how life changing yoga was, I wanted to share it with others. When yoga training was over, I immediately started applying to teach around town at several different gyms and studios. Before I knew it, I was teaching at four different places and had about 8-10 regular class hours a week. By the end of my first year I reached 400 hours of teaching! Yes it was hard to manage, but I love teaching! Let me say that again, I love teaching! Even more than teaching, I love the relationships I get to build with students and the amazing stories they share about their journey! They are so inspiring. I know that all things don't last, but I hope I always get to do this in some capacity. As my teaching journey unfolds, I look forward to sharing some of my experiences here and helping others along the way!
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